Wikaricatures

Who are the colorful cast of characters fallen prey to the latest megawikileak? 

SILVIO BERLUSCONI

Silvio is the Prime Minister of raging pool-side parties, sodden with grappa and limoncello. Nude and semi-nude soirees are "proper, dignified and elegant."

He wishes he could quit his job and move to the Motherland to be with his best friend Vladimir Putin all day, suiting up and playing round after round of golf.

COLONEL GADDAFI 

 

The lascivious Libyan leader won't leave the house without his curvaceous, blonde nurse from the Ukraine at his side in the event that he should trip on his caftan. 

CRISTINA KIRCHNER

 

  

Hillary Clinton recommends horse tranquilizers to her friend Cristina Kirchner, the President of Argentina, so that she can eliminate stress and lead with a clear head, just like Hillary.  

KIM JONG II

According to China, Kim Jong II is losing his grip on reality and becoming a flabby, Asian version of Veruca Salt. Did this piece of information need leaking or was it already common knowledge?

HOSSEIN GHANBARZADEH VAHEDI 

 
Who? This is the non-sequitor of the leaked cables. 

Vahedi, of Iranian descent, left for the US in 1979 and become a US citizen and dentist.

In 2008, at age 75, he returned to Iran for a visit. Authorities confiscated his passport and he was unable to return. Vahedi believed he was targeted because his sons run a business representing Persian pop singers in LA.

Instead of hunkering down in an Iranian retirement home, Vahedi decided to take matters into his own hands. He found two escorts and a horse to take him on a 14 hour journey over a drug smuggling route over the nippy Zagros Mountains with inappropriate attire all the way to Turkey! At one point, the inexperienced rider tumbled off his mount and into the woods! 

JULIAN ASSANGE

All of these bits of government gossip gallivanting about the globe through cables have now ended up on the internet for all to see. All because of this Aussie, who now wears a halo of gossip himself: will he be tried for espionage? is he really guilty of rape? will he really move to Ecuador? 

It's hard to believe that this isn't odd news, it's the stuff of front pages. It truly is a mad, mad, mad world!